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Tuesday, February 23, 2016

SPANX DON'T FAIL ME NOW: Finding a plus size formal dress is risky business

I can't want to share my dress with you.
( - I feel like this should be an Open Letter to all the celebrities I've made fun of who act like the world should stop because they were wearing a dress on the red carpet. It should be directed to all the fashion show directors who invited me to fashion shows but I faked sick to get out of going. I mean, when North West through the tantrum of the year at Daddy Kanye's fashion show, I felt she was my soul mate screaming and holleri ng on behalf of me and others that feel flat out tortured at those shows. For the most part, I like fashion but I really don't like fashion shows. The styles are often weird AF and the models look dead. I feel like I'm on Punked and that there are cameras rolling because these "designs" cannot possibly be considered "the next hot thing."

That was until I had to get dressed for the upcoming 88th Annual Academy Awards also known as "The Oscars." Jesus take the wheel! Who knew how much work goes into these darn things. As a reporter, I get a press release, I RSVP, show up, snack on the cucumber and sandpaper sandwiches and wash it all down with diet champagne. I write a post, snap some pics and interview a designer who acts like he built the pyramids. Finally, I go home and try to forget what I just experienced.

Now that I'm required to wear a tea lengthen dress (what the heck is that?), I have a new found appreciation for all the people I used to refer to as dimwits. Considering that I do not have a glam squad, cannot fit into a "sample size" dress (that would be size 2 to the rest of us) and aren't exactly winning an fashion challenges, I know that I've misjudged the process. I found myself wishing I could buy a glam squad by putting two quarters in the bubble gum machine at Kmart.

For days, I pulled out my hair fretting over what to wear. Thank goodness for some of the most amazing plus size fashion houses on the planet. I won't have to look like I'm wearing an eighties prom dress. I'll actually look great, that is if my spanx don't fail me, my booty pads arrive in time and I can find the right bra. (wink)

In true Oscars fashion, I cannot share the dress details until the big night. You know, they call it "The Reveal." but I'm excited to say that I'll be able to share with you my journey and help you bypass the stress and go straight to the exact place I went to for my Oscar fashion. Stay tuned!


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